Chapter 2: – My father a disciplined man
My father was a humble man from rural roots. Raised in village Dohak, Punjab in a farming household, he showed a keen interest in education. His father did not have formal literacy himself but was fascinated by his son’s passion for studying. My grandpa often shared stories with us. Like the one when in my dad’s early years, my grandpa could not find him at the house at night and then after looking everywhere found him studying under a streetlamp on the village street. In another one when my father had joined medical school and lived in residence, grandpa would arrive on a train in the early hours of the morning to see his son. He said he could see dad’s window from the outside as he would arrive, and the light would always be on at 4:00am. He would always find him studying. When my father was a child, my grandma was very influenced by Hindu Pandits in the village and had my father’s haircut and ears pierced to wear good charm earrings. My dad who did not believe in rituals defied his mother and grew his hair to follow the tenets of Sikh faith. My grandpa was a gentle soul and never pushed my dad in any direction but walked alongside him in any direction he chose.
My father on the other hand was a driven man, a force to reckon with. Not only did he push himself as hard as could but also those around him. He was an epitome of discipline, hard work, ethic and punctuality. His work was demanding and he followed a regimented routine and had high expectations of others to fall into it. Needless to say, that put intense pressure on us as his children. I think even my mother who was 9 years younger than him was quite intimidated in the earlier years of her marriage. Her father, my other grandpa was my dad’s teacher in Orthopaedics. Impressed by my dad’s brilliance he asked him to marry one of his daughters. She was young and had just finished high school equivalent at that time. My father said yes but both my father and mother did not know who they were getting married to. Once he set eyes on her he realized that the young girl swinging on the gate when he used to visit his teacher was going to be his wife. (It may sound cruel now but believe me, it was a very acceptable arrangement at the time).
My dad’s classmates and friends would often reminisce with us about my parent’s wedding day. They shared stories of how the bridal party was full of their strict professors who assumed they could boss them around. Normally the groom’s side called Baraati’s are treated with a lot of deference at the wedding events. They are guests who have come to fetch the newly wedded wife. Dad’s friends enjoyed asserting their rights over their profs reminding them of their status as the groom’s party even if it was for a day. They refused to run any errands and stayed firmly planted in their cushy seats.
This union eventually would result in forging a family bond between two of Punjab’s Doyens of Orthopeadics. The young Dr Hardas Singh Sandhu was now the son-in-law of Dr. Karam Singh Grewal.
Next chapter:- Getting past the sternness